August 28, 2012

A New City, A New Begin

So, as you might have noticed, I changed the total layout of my blog - again. I just love trying out new things, and love to play with photoshop a bit. I know, that must sound a bit geeky. It's the inner nerd in me that's talking now:-)

I have been very excited to finally put this new layout online, as I have finished it for a while now. Honestly, I'm quite content with it, and I think it kinda shows a part of me: girly without being childish.

As you all might know I moved to Paris! Today is my second day here. My parents and sister helped me move, well they brought me to Paris and then dropped all the suitcases, said hi to my landlord, and then we went into the city. The reason why I have been MIA these days is because I've been sobbing a bit. I shed a lot of tears yesterday when I brought my parents to the parking lot. It just hit me when we stood in front of the car. I only felt sad when we walked to the car, hadn't felt anything the entire day, and just when I looked at my sister we both started crying. When my parents saw we were shedding tears, we all had tears in our eyes and stood there all crying.

I walked around the block before I went to my apartment in order to not look like I cried and then went in. Started unpacking my big-ass two suitcases and when I was done, it was still early. I felt so lonely, as my roomy hadn't arrived yet (she'll only come Saturday) and I was just feeling so sad and alone that I just felt miserable - all by myself. It is my first time living abroad, and my first time living outside so besides I'm a sucker with goodbye's and just a freakin' ball of emotions, I just didn't know what to think.

Living there with the 80 year old granny is honestly, tiring (because I have to speak French all the time) and also quite boring honestly. I was sobbing and trying to calm down for a few hours, cooked, did some groceries, and then sat a bit behind the laptop. The more I was sitting there by  myself, looking on the web, the lonelier I felt, whereas I'd do the same if I was at home. Sitting behind the laptop for a while to look at tv shows or whatever. Thank goodness when I texted my friend who's doing her internship in Paris whether she could meet me after work, she texted me at the same time asking whether I could meet her. We met in the evening, and I honestly felt so much better talking to a person I knew.

This morning when I Skyped with my mum for the first time after I moved, I had tears in my eyes already - just without reason. After the 2 hour chat I grabbed something to eat and then went to the centre. Sitting in my room for an entire day, and not doing anything at all... That was not in my planning.

Scuzi for the long rambly (semi-sad/self-pitying) post! I might do an 'empties' post soon. Today I went to the French pharmacy (and another store to get some boring things + groceries). I've googled the pharmacy Lisa Eldrige has recommended in one of her videos - it took me like 35 minutes at least to get there, but it was totally worth it. I almost spend 2 hours in it, if it wasn't more;-) Will go to Les Halles to go shopping for an electronic water boiler thing (do you call it like that?) and definitely will drop by at Sephora!

PS. I'm aware that the menubar looks a bit funny as it isn't in sync, but I will change that tomorrow evening! I'm off to bed now, very tired!;-)

What do you think of the new layout?




  1. Aww! I know how it feels to be homesick--I live away from my parents most of the year while I go to school, and it's the saddest feeling! You'll get through it--just have fun, go out with friends and explore the city! Paris is amazing! Good luck!

    1. Thank you so much for your sweet and comforting comment hun! It helped loads :-) x

  2. I'm not stalking you (only a little.. hahaha....)
    Great post! How you reacted are normal, it's hard to leave everything you know and are used to. Don't let it control you, go out and have fun, and when you start meeting new people and get to know them better I'm sure you are going to love it! :D
    And thumbs up with the whole "speaking french" thing, I admirer people who can talk another language other than English fluent! ;) I had german in school, but it's a couple of years ago and a lot of it has disappeared from my brain! :P haha

    1. haha silly, you can stalk me I won't mind, as I really enjoy reading your comments :-) but thank you so much! I went shopping today, was great, until I saw a lot of couples or groups of people shopping - made me feeling lonely again. I have to mention that I'm allergic to being alone, I hate it, always have. Thank goodness only 2 days until my roomie arrives, yay!

      Ha, my French isn't really that good. I had it for 5 years at high school (didn't learn a thing) and then 2 years at uni (which was okay, but didn't make me an advanced speaker). I also got a French certificate (DELF) which says that I have B1 level. Not that I think I have that level, but hey, if it says so on paper, who am I to say no :-D I'm sure when you are forced to speak German, it'll just come out naturally! x

    2. Great! :P haha
      I know what you mean, the only thing you notice is other people having a great time with friends and you being all alone.
      If you hate being alone, it makes it even worth, you should hang out with 'granny' more often ;) hahaa
      Well, if it says that on the paper, it must be right - no, you're right. Just because you have a certificate on something it doesn't mean you can actually do it that well - people just assume you can.
      I remember in school when I had German that I got good grades when I was writing, but I never actually learned to speak it properly. At my exam in 10th grade, man that was awkward.. word. *silence* word *silence* and so on. I had such a hard time saying one whole sentence right. So embarrasing!

    3. Yep, and then thinking how great it'd be if my parents or sister were here to enjoy the things together. God, now I start to get teary again, I'm such a fool. I feel like living on your own is so tiring actually, and now I see how spoiled I was at home. Did cook occasionally, but when you want to, it's different from when you have to. Doing the dishes is horrible as well. Don't understand why granny has a washing machine, but I can't use it -.-

      Oh well... I most of the time am away in the afternoon. I feel horrible if I stay in the room for too long. Makes me sad and then I start feeling horrible. I try to stay out until 5 ish, so I come home and then Skype with my parents and/or sister. Then eat diner. Skype again, shower, hang on the net and then sleep. Sigh... boring I know.

      Haha, I remember when I had a conversation in German in my first year of learning German. The teacher was so mean, when I said "ehm" she was like: "Ich habe keine zeite!". Scared the crap outta me :p

    4. You are not a fool! I'm just like you! The school I went to before where I go now, I lived on that school. I cried everyday the first week, and I was like 40 minutes away from home, but just to be away was so hard! I cried everytime I talked to my mom on the phone and thought she was so unfair because she kept telling me to give it a chance. I knew it was going to be better after in a few weeks when I knew everyone better, but I just wanted to leave and go home for the first two weeks!
      She won't let you use the washing machine?! whaaat, take a chill pill old lady! :P It's not like you are going to break it or anything!

      What do you do when you are out, just walking around, or do you go sight seeing? :)

      Hahaha, mine was mean too, she talked with a very firm voice, and to me everything just sounds so much more mean in German ;P

    5. Aw thank you so much for saying that! I was so afraid I'd be exaggerating too much, and just had to suck it up instead of whining over it :-p Luckily my roommate has arrived today, so definitely felt less lonely!

      I so know what you mean with talking over the phone. My mum said a few days ago that she thought the days went by so slow now I left home, that made me so teary eyed! We were Skype-ing, and I just couldn't cry because I didn't want to make my mum and dad cry over this matter anymore. They also said that it would be better when I get used to the situation, and that it would be over before I knew it. But now you live with your parents again? :-)

      Well... I went to shopping places such as Boulevard Haussmann (Galleries Lafayette, Sephora, ZARA, MANGO, Printemps, GAP), Les Halles (New Look, looked for a electric water boiler) to look around. Too bad I'm living by myself, so basically have to buy everything myself - no money to spend on impulse buys anymore :-( But I also went to the famous garden: Tuilleries and to the museum close to that. The Marc Jacobs/Louis Vuitton exhibition to be precise! :-)

      I have loads of German friends, so I'm not so sure talking bad about their language would be good but ehm... yeah I just think their language sounds very funny. Esp. as a Dutchie, some words are similar, but just pronounced very differently. :-P

    6. Seriuosly, when I heard my mom's voice on the phone my voice would crack!
      That's great that she has arrived! :)

      You are there to study, right? When are you classes starting? and are they in French?

      Yeah I'm back home, I went there from august 2010 to may 2011. It wasn't like a serious school, most of the students there where people were done with "high school", it was like a gap year for them before starting university. I just did it the other way around, I went there first and now I'm finishing "high school" (I don't go on a normal school with 15-18 year olds, I go on a school for people over 18).. ;P We can't all follow the norms.

      Nice! love ZARA! Sephora is nice too, but sadly the one we have in Denmark is a poor excuse for a Sephora! They only carry like half of the brands they have in USA :(

      Did you find an electric water boiler? :P
      I see, but yes, I think most people think other countries' languages sound funny ;) Except English, but that's because I'm used to it.

  3. Good luck in Paris! I am sure you will have a blast there. Living away from your family is hard, but it can also be very rewarding. This week is the 7th year that I have been living in NL and it is still difficult, but at the same time I have learned so much over the years. You will be fine, just make the most of your time there.
    And that thing you needed to buy is called electric kettle, I believe ;) Take care!

    1. Thank you so much, I will need it;-) But I sure do I'll have a blast these 4 months, I better do, I better do... I have suffered a lot because of this, and gained so much stress prior to arriving here (a lot of problems with the exchange school). I got the water boiler/electric kettle, oh well I just know it's water koker in Dutch ha ha! x


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